This Murphy's Law...
Let me start off this long deserved blog with an apology for the fact that I was gone for so long and for the fact that this one is probably going to be a long post.
If you have read my blog before then you know that my family refers to me as Murphy, as in Murphy's Law. If it can happen, it will happen to me. I have faced the trials and tribulations attached with this wonderful nickname my whole life. Truthfully, I love my nickname, I just wish it wasn't so blasted accurate. I had planned on slowly explaining past things to you, but here is a hopefully brief synopsis of my life.
Throughout my years of living, all 47 of them, I have been abused (as a child), illegally adopted, raped, molested, cheated on (by husband and friends), been the outcast on multiple occasions and I have failed repeatedly to find love. Not to mention I have failed to succeed on so many things that I have lost count. Through it all, I pick myself up and start over again and again and again. Yes, I have wavered on more that a few instances. Though I am a fighter, there are times when life has struck such a massive blow that I have knelt down and gave up. One time, I even attempted suicide. Not something I am proud of, but sadly the truth. I believe that maybe my story, down the road, could help someone else. So I will be completely honest in all that I write and say on here. There is more, tons more. I have done many a stupid thing in my life. many, many things I am not proud of, but I have learned through them all. Okay, enough of that.
Now for the reason I have been gone so long this time: I started that new job. Which I am not a fan of, it is like being back in high school. So dramatic. A total popularity contest and on one occasion I was told I wasn't allowed to think. Seriously, I was told I wasn't allowed to think. Had me thinking, "I left the restaurant industry for this?" But I need to work, so I am sticking it out. Then my wonderful life kicks in, I end up with blood clots (double pulmonary embolisms) in each of my lungs. Delightfully called saddle clots, like suddenly I am a horse and finally someone is ready to ride me. Unfortunately it was a health issue. That lovely little health issue has done a big number on me. I never for the life of me thought that I would get winded from walking five feet. Not just normal winded either, so winded that I thought I was going to pass out. Thankfully I am smart, or rather smarter that the clots. I immediately went to the emergency room and ended up in the hospital. After all of their poking and prodding, I am happy to say that I am doing much better. I am no way near being completely healed. I still have lightheaded moments and God forbid I have to bend over to pick something up. I go into a coughing fit. I have to take shots twice a day and other medications. I will probably be off of work for at least a month.
All in all not so bad, except for the consequences, I might lose my home and possibly my car. With no income coming in and my health failing, I am struggling more that I have ever in my past. I am doing my best to keep my spirits up, but I am too sick to even do my shows right now. I am trying to get my stuff put online, but my energy doesn't last for very long. I find myself sleeping a lot. Odd for me, since I am one that usually rarely sleeps. I am sure I will go take yet another nap after I am done writing this insert.
Alright, I am done with my pity party. Yes, I am upset. Yes, I am worried. Yes, I am probably more stressed than I have been in a long time. But I am going to keep fighting and pray that something good comes out of this debacle. Mostly just going to pray I don't lose my home and maybe my sanity from being trapped in the house.
I would like to leave off with a great big thank you to all of you that prayed and wished me well. It is nice to know that my followers are some of the nicest people out there on the internet. I say this not just because of all of the well wishes, but because I have never had one of you display a negative comment on any of the posts. To me, that says a lot about all of you! Thank you all for being GREAT!! I will do my best to keep you all updated. Thank you again!!