• Chrys Wilkins

Does Karma exist?

I have often asked myself this question. A lot more here recently and I am sure every day people ask themselves questions like this one. Some more intense and thought provoking, some, maybe not so much. I try every day to live the best possible life that I can and I don't mean by acquiring things such as money, friends or status. I try to live by the philosophy do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Really ironic considering that I am not an overly religious person. I tend to sway away from religious conversations or just blatantly casting a name to it. I have ran into many a person who would say that I am sacrilegious, but I don't see it that way. Mostly because I see life from a totally different perspective. Now I am not saying that there isn't a God or that there isn't a higher power. In fact, the phrase "God doesn't give you anything that you can't handle." has led me to my so called beliefs.

"That's a powerful expression." you might say. To that I say or rather I ask, "If God is so loving, why is one person's life made a living hell, while another one gets everything that they ask for?" Better yet, "Why are there child illnesses?" I understand other horrors in the world, other horrors that are caused by free will. A gift that we have been bestowed upon by being human. I don't agree with those horrors. In fact my opinion on some of them is quite strong and drastic. But I digress, those are horrible things we cause by terming it human nature or mental illness. But I am swaying from my original question: "Does Karma exist?"

I could sit here and tell you about the good I have put out in the world and though I have done that, I am not perfect. I am human and I have made my fair share of stupid mistakes, like possibly this post. LOL I do endeavor to only put good out into the world, but I am a red head. I have a temper and I have made my fair share of mistakes. On the other side, I have been illegally adopted, sexually abused, made someones slave (literally) and constantly fail at just about anything I have done or attempted to do. Through it all, I pick myself up, look for the positive and keep on trucking. I have only faltered once and in a very drastic way. I tried the self check out lane. I was lucky and did an immediate, though time consuming self return. Not one of my finer moments, but I did learn something about myself. I am way stronger than I think I am or ever give myself credit for.

Sadly though, I have been doubting myself more and more lately. I have been thinking about how much good I have done and how many horrible things have happened and I have noticed that the bad things are drastically outnumbering the good. Now I am jobless, sick and close to being homeless with a toddler and a teenager and there just isn't that much fight left in me. I have almost 300 friends on my Facebook account. Some of them family, some of them friends and some of them former co-workers. Only two have shared my link, two have donated and only five have contacted me to see how I am doing. I think about all I have done for some of them and others throughout my life. I am thinking about all of the trials and tribulations I have dealt with: both self inflicted and not. I have been thinking about justice, fairness, charity and karma. I have thought about honesty and internet popularity. Basically, being sick has left me a lot of time to think. Maybe not such a good thing.

What I have discovered: If I had a posted a video that was malicious or embarrassing, I would have been all over the internet. Shared repeatedly and gaining popularity. If I had lied and said I needed the money for some made up situation or had been dishonest in any way. I would be raking in donations and gaining sympathy. Disheartening. I have been honest. I haven't lied once to gain favor and here I sit about to lose everything. Absolutely everything and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I feel sorry for our world today. Because we would rather perpetuate laughing at someone else's expense or showing only bad in the world and gain popularity from it. Think about it, I mean really think about it. A person of authority does something horrible, atrocious, and bam! they are every where. Facebook, twitter, the news, etc. 30 Million shares and counting. Someone else in the same profession could do something fantastic, great for the world, save a life, etc. and maybe 2 million are reached.This makes me sad for the world instead of myself.

At the end of the day, I may lose everything from my car and my home, but I will be able to live with myself. Because I will know that I didn't by into the hate that the world wants to spread around and instead I will continue to put good out into it and pray that karma does exist, even though I don't have proof of it.

Until next time, be kind and better the world. Thank you.

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